There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
