I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize