Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
