i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
