drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
