The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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