Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
