I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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