Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
