Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
