Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
