you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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