# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
