but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
