I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
