Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
