That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
