I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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