is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
