READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
