He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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