butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am naked and annoyed.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
