Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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