Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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