Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
