fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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