it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
