You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
