bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
