How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
