More tranny stories later!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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