saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
