so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
