Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
