So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want to make a zoo with you.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
