My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
