eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
