so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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