I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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