He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
