I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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