god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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