As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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