toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize