someone threw a dead crab at me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
