I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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