Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
