Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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