god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
