I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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