we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
