Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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