Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
