Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
