UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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