She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
