He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
