dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize