NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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