it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
