how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize