On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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