Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
They have beer where we have blood.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
