I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
