he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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