Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh god it's open bar.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
