Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
